Fear (2)

'One and Three Chairs' (1965), Joseph Kosuth. 

Then I knew it was fear.

Suddenly, I had an inexplicably
urgent need to clap my hands,
to pound a door, to run and
jump and scream.

This, so my body can justify
the light-speed beating of
my heart.

by James Miraflor
September 2007


Note: This is the original version of my poem Fear (http://bit.ly/sfvsr) which was written sometime September 2007. I thought I had lost it, so I rewrote the poem, only to realize after two years I haven't. You may observe that the poems look the same. The second poem is, more nuanced, as the object the "fear" will have already realized. :-)

Block 49

by James Miraflor

M.C. Escher. Hell, copy after Hieronymus Bosch 1935 Lithograph.

I do not know, I do not know,

that mysterious force

of natural selection

that predisposes people to

be genetically evil.

But there is Evil,

and its as real as the smell

of rotting rice left

to stale in a moist, warm

afternoon.

And I hate Evil as much

as revolutionaries hate

the Establishment,

as surely as business hate

indolence.

And evil They are as

plagues are evil,

exempt from pity or compassion

of the cure.

And evil They are as

they had evolved, permanently,

irreversably, into beings

devoid of meaning separate

from Evil.

For what They are,

are no longer different from

a disease which has to be simply

snuffed to heal a body.

No change, no reform,

can bring Them back to us.

No change can ever bring Them back.

And there is no longer pity,

for pity is accorded only to sentience

of and by moral or pre-moral

creatures;

But They were no longer such,

Their sentience defeated by

the Evil forces of

immoral poverty.

And until I can escape Them,

Their smell of evil,

shall fill my nostrils

to brim.

And I shall sleep in hate.

Poem of the Oppressed

by

Hindi Ako Sanay ng Wala Ka

ni James Miraflor

Ptosis (A Normal Life)

by James Miraflor

I and the Village by Marc Chagall, 1911

Nakakasilaw, nakakasilaw. Pakisarado ang pinto.

Brain feels numb. Dry throat. Naiihi ako.

White crystalline xanthine alkaloid.

White crystalline xanthine alkaloid.

Natatae ako. Natatae ako.

Tae. Ligo. Toothbrush.

Fuel price hike. Inflationary pressures

seeping on my plastic soul, photons exciting my

my sweat pores, and my

Malapit na kami sa Quezon Ave.

Put down the visor. Nasisilaw ako. Pinagpapawisan

na ko. Ayan na, ayan na:

Ang tambalang balasubas at balahura!

RP NG debt reach P4 trillion in end-August ‘08. Arroyo signs

P1.4 trillion 2009 budget. Executive Order 258. Administrative Code

of 1987 Section 26(B). House Bill 5423.  C + I + G + X - M.

White crystalline xanthine alkaloid.

White crystalline xanthine alkaloid.

...
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White crystalline xanthine alkaloid.

White crystalline xanthine alkaloid.

Facebook. Who added me this time? Friendster.

Movimento dos Trabalhadores Rurais Sem Terra. Realignment in

Cuba. Resurgence of Russia and the Baltic States.

Wala namang bago.

A long walk. A long long walk.

"A handshake, with carbon monoxide."

Biosphere 2: recreate my life, recreate my life!

Masarap pala ang beer.

Ulan. Ulan. Ulan.

ni James Miraflor

At umulan ng umulan

ng umulan, bawat butil ay

ulan, bawat patak ay 

ulan, walang hindi 

ulan.

Ulan. Ulan. Ulan.

Ulan ang dibuho ng dugong 

iginuhit ng ulan sa pulso.

Ulan ang tiklada ng daliri

sa makinilyang nakakalso.

Ulan din ang tumutunaw sa

inulang puso ko.

Ulan. Ulan. Ulan.

Bawat butil ay ulan.

Bawat patak ay ulan.

Mortalidad

Ano kaya ang pakiramdam,
ng ang buhay mo'y nagpupumilit kumawala
sa iyong buto't kalamnang maaaga ng pinatanda
ng sakit ng kalungkuta't kahinaan?

Ano kaya ang pakiramdam?

Mahirap intindihin
ang sakit ng isang ina't kasamang
nasa bingit ng kamatayan, ngunit
mukha pa ring buhay at lumalaban.

At gaya ng maraming bagay sa
mundong hindi naiintindihan,
ikaw bilang ikaw ay isinantabi,
sa kung saan ang iyong pakikibaka't
panaghoy ay hindi nakakagambala
sa kapayapaan ng mga buhay
at kanilang mga normal na buhay.

Gaya ng maraming bagay na
hindi naiintindihan, pinilit ka nilang ibalik sa mundong
naaarok ng komprehensiyon ng normalidad:

     ang pagpasok araw-araw sa trabaho;
     ang magalit sa mga taong kinaiinisan;
     ang mang-inis paminsan-minsan;
     ang magmahal sa mga anak;
     ang mangakong mabubuhay, kung para lamang sa mga lumalabang
     ika'y manatiling buhay.

Pero ika'y patay na,
ang iyong katawa'y pinasuko na ng hapding
mapait pa sa apdo.

Ika'y patay na,
ibinagsak na ng bato sa
laman.


ni James Matthew Miraflor
Enero 30, 2000

Alay kay kasamang Rhodz Espinola, namatay ng 5 A.M. ng umaga ng Enero 29, 2009 sa paglaban sa End-Stage Renal Disorder.