Sadness

by James Miraflor (01.24.06)

There are quite many things
one can be sad about.

One can be sad about
an unfinished glass of beer left to
stale in a shabby nightclub table,
a half-dead kitten in the streets under
the sun's scorching heat,
love songs played by the radio
over and over again
in your ride back home.

One can also be sad about
the passing of the summer,
a rock star fading away back
to anonymity,
old cartoons you used to watch
no one else remembers anymore,
death of a highschool teacher,
tuna afritada with rice,
clock running backwards,
the regrets of the past.
And the saddest thing
of them all is
the idea of one's sadness
becoming permanent.

But now, I am sad of only
one thing.
That, until now, you refuse
to forgive me.

And because of that, I feel
deserted, impotent, vanquished.

Because you refused
to forgive me,
coldness now embraces each moment,
tomorrow begins to lose its confidence,
the memory of the past starts
hounding me again,
reminding me
how foolish I have been
to lose you.

Then I wondered,
will you come back?
What if you won't?
Will I be here, alone,
forever?

That would be the saddest
thing of all.